Selena Kearns
I'm from Mooncoin in Co Kilkenny. Horses were not in my background whatsoever. My mum, God rest her, brought me to pony riding lessons when I was little. Teenage years came and the ponies kind of got forgotten about. Then I just took it up again out of the blue when I was about 19 - it was my first time sitting on a racehorse. I went to Henry de Bromhead's for a couple of weeks. From there, I worked for Kevin Prendergast on the Curragh. I was there for about six months, but I got very homesick. I was the only girl there at that time. I was riding out in both yards. It was different back then to now. After Kevin Prendergast, I went to Eoin Griffin in Slieverue. It was close to home and I was able to get lifts there and go home again in the evening. I stayed there for the best part of 12 years. Eoin had a lot of faith in me riding work and I rode work on all the good horses. I worked with Johnny Murtagh, Nina Carberry and Barry Geraghty up the Old Vic. Back in those days, they were my heroes. I went racing a lot as well, I took the horses to the races.
After Eoin's I fancied a bit of a change so I went to Joseph O'Brien's on Owning Hill. It was 15 minutes away from my house. Joseph was just finishing his riding career and he was starting to take over on Owning Hill. I rode out there and it was really my first time of doing more of the grooming and the looking after of horses. I did love it and I got up to see Ballydoyle a couple of times. I can remember sitting in the passenger side of Aidan's jeep watching horses work with him and going home to tell my dad all about it! I absolutely loved it in Joseph's, it was a different type of a horse. I stayed there for a year and a-half. My mother, unfortunately, was starting to get sick and the work was getting intense. I was the only one at home and I needed to be there.
I met Mark (Cahill, trainer) on the gallop in Joseph's because it had been a public gallop as well at the time. He brought horses up and asked me to ride work one day 10 years ago and we are together since then. I started working for Mark in the afternoons and in the mornings, I worked out in Curraghmore Estate for Lord Waterford. He has been an amazing person in my life. He has a public gallop out there now that we work the horses on a couple of times a week. It is a six-furlong wood-chip hill-gallop with three hurdles and you would meet plenty of trainers at it as it is very popular. I stayed there for about four years and it was lovely because Shay Barry was training there as well, so I used to ride a few for Shay. We have 15 horses in training at the moment. Mark would have a lot of pre-trainers and breakers as well. We are open to more horses as we have room for about 30.
We have rehomed so many horses with Sarah Sands of Treo Eile. It is something that I strongly believe in. I contacted Sarah about Mickah Wallace - he was a favourite around the yard and the most beautiful mover. When he was with us, he was called Tyson, his nickname. I gave him the unfortunate name Mickah Wallace. There was an Irish film The Commitments - the drummer in the band was called Mickah Wallace and that is where the name came from. He was just absolutely crazy, he became their bouncer. I named him Mickah Wallace because he was an absolute handful at home. Before he was gelded, he was just a great, big bully. Then after he was gelded, he was gorgeous. To look at him, he would catch your eye, and you'd think we are going to have a great time with this fella, but he didn't show it when he went racing. It wasn't for him. I got straight on to Sarah and Stephanie McGlynn, who works in RACE (Racing Academy and Centre of Education), came down to look at him. At that time, he had been in the field for about three weeks and I was worried that he would be fresh. She got up on him, it was no bother to him, and she went down the lane on him and they went out on the gallop. I'm not just saying it, but they were a match made in heaven. She kept in touch and sent me pictures of him and videos. He loved his new life. We never thought he would go on to win at the RDS (Irish Thoroughbred Marketing sponsored Racehorse to Riding Horse Class). It was a very proud day. It was great for the likes of him to show what they can do with the right person. They do make amazing athletes in other disciplines or even to hack around.
Mickah Wallace with Stephanie McGlynn and John Osbourne
Mark broke his pelvis last winter and it was just the two of us riding out at the time. I have to say Alan Persse comes to us two days a week and he rides work. Alain is having a bit of a lull at the riding at the moment in terms of getting rides. He is amazing - he is always available to ride work and is a great young fella. He can claim off a bottom weight. You just need someone to believe in you at times. He came in and helped me with the riding out when Mark was in hospital. I was riding a big horse out who would be very quiet and very slow. A wasp stung him, in December would you believe, and he bucked me off. I was in the shower that night and I was sore and, only for that fall, was rubbing under my armpit. I found a little bump and I would admit I didn't check myself enough. It went from there really. I got an appointment with my doctor and I was referred to the clinic, but the wait could be six weeks as I was non-urgent. It just didn't sit right with me really. In my gut, something wasn't right. So, I rang the hospital and asked if the appointment could be speeded up. I was told I was non-urgent and would have to wait. Two weeks later I rang and I got a lovely girl on the phone and she asked if I could come in tomorrow. I went in and had a mammogram. In Ireland you are not offered a mammogram until you are 50, so I would have been 10 years off that. When they sent me in for an ultrasound, I could see in the radiographer's eyes. She said there was a mass there and could they biopsy it. I got the biopsy there and then. It is scary, but I don't know where I got the courage out of. You can do it and you have to do it. I always had a saying if you can't go around it, you have to go through it. The biopsy took two weeks to come back. It was four days before Christmas Eve and I was told I had cancer and a particularly aggressive type with a high reoccurrence risk and it comes back as Stage 4. I could hear the consultant talking, but it wasn't registering. I'm glad I brought Mark as the consultant was very serious and a slow talker. He said we had to wait until after Christmas to do MRIs and nuclear bone scans to see if it has spread. I actually asked him if he could stop talking for a minute. I just felt so faint and gathered myself together and shook his hand and said 'thank you, you can let me know when I've to come back for scans'.
My mum had passed away two years ago, and I didn't tell my dad because I just kept thinking how would I tell him? I kept it very private, I just told my brothers and sisters. I hated the thought of sympathy and people treating me differently. I got over Christmas and on 2nd January went for a nuclear bone scan. I went for an MRI as well. I waited two weeks for the results to see had it spread. Thankfully, it hadn't. When I went back, the consultant was a different man and he was chatty and smiley. I met my Oncologist and they worked out a plan for me. I was due to start chemotherapy on 20th February and you do worry if it is going to spread or get bigger. In the meantime, I told my dad in January, it was so difficult. He was a man of few words and was a pioneer his whole life and never missed mass, and I'll never forget his face telling him. He loved going to his matches, he loved going to his GAA. He was very heavily involved with Ballyhale Shamrocks. I told him and he never mentioned it to me again. My chemotherapy was the 20th February and I was here the day before chemotherapy and my brother-in-law rang me at ten to 1 and he just said if I could come down to dad's house. I knew by his tone, and he said it wasn't good. I just remember a blur. Mark was riding work in Curraghmore Estate and said he would meet me there. Unfortunately, by the time I got there, dad had passed. He always said 'when I go, I want to go in my garden'. He was just getting the bed ready in spring for the flowers. He had a beautiful passing, he wasn't in pain. Twenty minutes before he died, he said to my neighbour 'Did you hear about Selena? She's sick, she has cancer. She's not like the rest of mine, she's tough and she will be okay. She will be cured'.
I still went to chemotherapy the next day. They told me I should cancel it and that it could be put back a week and I said no - I'm my father's daughter and I'm going to do it for him. I went to chemotherapy and I brought Mark with me just for that one. They were very good to me in there. I did six months of aggressive chemo and there is plenty that comes with it. I got through it. I did lose all my hair and in March my little nephew had his confirmation and he asked me to be his sponsor because his sponsor was unavailable. I went into the bathroom about an hour before the confirmation and shaved off all my hair with Mark's electric razor. I had a little turban and I put it on and put on a little bit of makeup. People were lovely and they did want to support me.
I couldn't ride out. I rode out for a couple of chemotherapy sessions and then it went to another treatment, a harsher treatment and that was every three weeks. That one floored me. I spoke to Jennifer Pugh for advice, I had never spoken to her before. I knew who she was and how great she was. I did know she was approachable. I had a letter from my Oncologist saying that I couldn't ride out and my job was very physical. Jennifer went above and beyond. She rang me while I was in chemotherapy and stayed on the phone to me for about an hour, and wrote a letter for me, and checked on me in from time to time. People didn't understand the whole racing community and what you do. I've now gone through all this advocating for financial assistance. If anyone is going through this, or does go through it, I am here to talk to. When I finish my radiation, I want to help people. I didn't know how many times people said to me that people can work through this, but they are sitting in an office. When your job is purely mucking out and riding out, and taking horses to the races, you just can't do it. This job does exist and it is a proper job and a way of life. I know nothing else. It took a lot of work to get myself sorted.
I have to say everybody was so lovely at the races - from the people on the gate, the stewards, going in and getting the colours, jockeys, everyone. I suppose being that vulnerable and sick, it just really showed racing is a lovely community to be in. I got the all clear last week and the prognosis is optimistic. When they removed my tumour, my chemotherapy did the job - I had a complete pathological and chemical response. I'm not passed to ride out yet. I have to do physiotherapy because it affects your arm where you had the lymph nodes removed. The riding out will come in time. At the moment I feel fantastic, but I do get very, very tired.
Selena was in conversation with Michael Graham.
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